Homemaking days and other patience-practice exercises

Homemaking Days

Growing up, my mother would plan several homemaking days during the summer when we were all out of school. These days were a deliberate effort on her part to make sure her kids had repeated practice in some domestic arts areas. For example, we would have periodic baking days, cake decorating days, sewing projects, ironing practice, and of course lots and lots of canning. And always there was the weekly weeding assignments. There is no question that most any domestic task is easier, more efficient and turns out better when you do it yourself, but that's not the point. After all, parenting is about loving your kids enough to put in the hours, patience, frustration, and tolerance to repeatedly train your kids to become capable parents themselves someday.

During these training-moments at my home, there are certainly times when I have to talk through some clenched teeth. Yes, my kids can tell I'm frustrated, but that doesn't mean we scrap the training session until we all feel warm and fuzzy. If that were the case, bring on the bon bons – we'd rarely have another training moment! For myself, feeling less than June-Cleaver-ish is not an excuse to stop training my kids. In fact, I think that is actually somewhat beneficial to them. Part of learning any skill inevitably involves obstacles, and frustration. They need to understand that frustration is normal. More importantly, they need to learn to work through their frustration and complete the task. For me, adding music to our chore always seems to mellow the mood and break some of the tension when they've spilled laundry detergent all over, or I'm just feeling less than patient with the messiness of parenting. If you give up on a task when it gets frustrating, that will stick with your kids, and my guess is that they'll not want to spend to much time training your grandchildren. *knowing chuckle*

Here are my frustration-mediation tips:

• Plan major skill-training moments out in advance.
• Expect it to take 2-3 times longer than you think. Don't over schedule for that day.
• Explain to your child what the task is and why it is important before you start.
• Some skills are easily taught with a group of children, but many are better taught 1-on-1.
• Let the child choose the background music.
• If necessary with extra-hard tasks, plan out a small incentive when you're done (at-home movie night, manicure, etc.)
• When you get frustrated, take a moment to explain why you're frustrated, take some deep breaths, have a hug and move on.
• Remind yourself why you're doing this – so that someday you can sit back and smile as you watch your kids train your grandkids!