Keep driving: a hijacked-life analogy

I used to think that adversity and trials and challenges were bumps in the road of life.  I'm starting to learn that our unique challenges and trials aren't the bumps in the road -- they are the road.  I feel very blessed to know that an all-knowing, all-loving, all-powerful God designed a plan that was custom fit for each one of his children on this earth.  The thing is -- we don't all fit on the same road.  In some ways, it all feels like we are starting out on the same road as those around us.  As little kids most of us have a very similar world - school, play, etc.  But as time passes this changes - some earlier than others.

Frontage road betrayal

What used to feel like driving on a multi-lane highway veers off as a frontage road.  Wait a second.  You can still look and see the nice, straight 75 mph highway and that was the plan, or I should say - your plan.  Nope.  God put you on a frontage road that now seems to turning off into totally new territory - not even going the direction you wanted, but up a curvy mountain road.  The speed limit is slow and at some points the road is a treacherous gravel track.  And dang it if you can't see those happy, cruise-controlled vehicles speeding along that lovely straight highway. . . Ouch.  You feel betrayed, and hijacked, and at times like you've failed to stay on what you considered your life's road/mission.  I have two words: keep driving.

Other drivers

Once in a while you might meet a couple other drivers in your off-the-highway route, and if you look closely, you might even recognize a few of them.  A neighbor, a leader, a family member, or even a stranger also seems to be on this alternate route and as you meet or pass on the road, there's a knowing smile or nod, or an understanding roll-of-the-eyes at the condition of this road.  Keep driving.

Divine Navigation

You still catch glimpses of the seemingly smooth road of others as they share their successes on life's traditional track.  Ouch.  Keep driving.  You start to realize that you must rely more and more heavily on the navigation system since this is all new territory and you now feel completely lost.  Keep driving.  The Savior Jesus Christ is the only true navigation system and regardless of what track you are on - be it highway or backroad - He will continue to guide you if you keep driving and keep listening.

Scenery

Occasionally you eventually start to accept the fact that the highway is not on your road-map.  And then you start seeing some interesting things.  Scenery, views, wildlife are occasionally spotted as you plod along this hijacked road and you are able to see things at 25 miles an hour that you would never see at 75 mph.  The road is still hard, slow, and the destination isn't even close to being within sight, but you still keep driving.

Destination

Eventually, you find yourself on top of a mountain in the most beautiful place you can imagine.  You are able to look down and see that highway below - some speeding along, others stopped in traffic - but knowing that eventually they will have to climb to where you are - where God wants them to be - in order to have the joy and peace from this view.  You will be so familiar with the voice of your divine Navigator that following Him becomes your goal.  Your driving skills have become very diverse and others have been comforted seeing you on this hijacked road when it is their turn to take a similar track.  Your determination to keep driving inspires them to keep driving.  And there is something satisfying in knowing that your desire to follow your Navigation system and keep driving didn't just bring you to a wonderful destination, but helped others arrive as well.  You may never know those other drivers, but your example was a tangible line of hope to them.
So, for those who feel like their life has been a bit hijacked from their original plan, keep driving.  We can never hijack God.  His Son - our Divine Navigator - has a route for each one of us - regardless of where we are, where we turn or fail to turn.  Through his atonement, he can always reroute us.  The key is to keep driving.

Life is Like One Long String of Adversity Deliveries: An Amazon Analogy

Life is full of figurative gifts and packages.  Some are joyfully anticipated such as eternal marriage, or having children.  Some are pleasant surprises like new friendships or unexpected job opportunities. Some come in horrible packages like disease, accidents, or emotional or mental illness.  And some seem to be empty packages such as death, loss or failure. And yet, life requires that we receive all kinds of these “experience” gifts.  It is up to us to open each one of them and find the individual lesson awaiting us.  

Sometimes we are handed a hard gift.  We hesitate to unwrap it – deluding ourselves that if we don’t unwrap it, it will go away.  But life simply doesn’t have that kind of return or exchange policy.  We can’t go back, or around – only through.  And we are promised that we can find Christ in each and every package.  

Sometimes Christ seems to get lost or overlooked in happy gifts such as blessing.  In a painfully empty box of trial, disease or loss, He may not be readily seen, but if we keep looking, we will find that He is the good – sometimes the only good – thing to be found.  Sometimes it take repeated, painful attempts at unwrapping as you may think you’ve got it opened, only to find another layer of packaging inside.  And just as some packaging these days is so strong (think any child’s toy on Christmas morning) with an excess of zip ties and impenetrable sealed plastic that it practically requires bolt-cutters, so it is with life’s gifts.  Sometimes we don’t have the strength or desire to keep unwrapping the dang package. It may require other loving, supportive people to help out.  More often than not, it requires finding a professional with the right tool – like emotional or bolt-cutters to help unlock a layer.  

So let that curiosity to see just what awaits you inside keep you moving forward.  And even if, after lots of effort and lots of hope, you find what appears to be an empty box, look again, and again, and again.  Find the Savior.  He is there in every package every time – even if we can’t easily see Him.  He’s the one who has been urging us and nudging us and prompting others to help us open the package.  

The fact that opening life’s gifts is a hard and painful process shouldn’t surprise us.   The concept of a broken heart and contrite spirit isn’t just a hollow, scriptural phrase but a very excruciatingly real and essential process. The scriptures are full of examples that back me up on this: 

 “May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite!” 2 Nephi 4:32

“The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.”  Psalms 34:18

“And ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me, a broken heart and a contrite spirit.” 3 Nephi 9:20

I believe that the strongest individuals are given the toughest packages.  They also have the most potential and blessings awaiting them, however, those blessings are often delayed – oftentimes until the next life.  In a way, life is one long series of surprise “Amazon” deliveries with a string of experience-packages showing up on our life’s doorstep.  Never stop opening.  Never walk away from one of these gifts regardless of how tempting it may be to do so, or how exhausted you may feel because these gifts are inescapable. 

It may seem utterly fruitless to keep unwrapping layer after layer, but hold on to that box.  Hold on to the people that are helping you hold that box.   You are so loved, you have a crowd of people seen and unseen supporting you.  Let others such as family, friends, therapists, doctors, and priesthood or church leaders use their metaphorical bolt-cutters to help you and empower you.  

Above all, remember that Christ is urging you forward. He’s putting people and resources and opportunities in your path for one glorious reason: to help you become like Him and ultimately return to live with our Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ. 

My sister recently reminded me that the oft-quoted scripture from the Book of Mormon that states, “Men are that they might have joy,” (2 Nephi 2:25) also carries the unwritten, opposite message: men are that they might have pain and sadness.  The reason is that all things must have their opposite.  The opposition allows us to recognize, value and seek out the good.  The same chapter in the Book of Mormon says, “it must needs be that there is an opposition in all things.” (2 Nephi 2:11)

And so the boxes keep coming – the happy gifts as well as the painful ones.  But all come with the purpose to point us towards our Savior Jesus Christ so that He can help us eventually find joy in this life and everlasting joy in the life to come.  So keep those bolt-cutters and supportive people handy since no doubt another gift is always on the way.

Early Mission Return = Unexpected Parental Payday

Wednesday August 29, 2018 was a day I dreaded. When I found out that my son Nate was coming home early from the Mexico MTC, I literally cried so hard that I ended up hyperventilating. I felt like everything I had worked for as a mother and all my hope for my son were crumbling around me and I felt buried in the rubble. Sleep was next to impossible, eating was almost impossible due to a constant nausea from the stress and worry. I almost hesitate to describe my state of mind because my agony was so minor and fleeting compared to the anguish, darkness and despair my son had endured for 4 weeks at the MTC in Mexico. Depression and anxiety had been gradually growing during his time there and became so acute that he had not been sleeping or eating for some time. The call from the MTC felt like being broadsided by a bus. To me, it was unexpected because I had not known much about the gradual onset of my son’s illness. 
At this point you’re probably wondering where the payday part comes in. I’m getting there, I just want to paint an accurate picture of my state of mind. 
At the airport we were worried to see a large group of family and friends waiting for a returning missionary on the same flight as Nate. We had a sign and balloons and our little group of three worried about his fragile state. He came out and we whisked him away and hugged our wonderful but terribly hurting and frightened boy outside the terminal, away from crowds. His sobbing apologies broke my heart. We held on to him and shared our love and support every way we knew how.  The car ride home from the airport allowed him to tell us some of his interesting, humorous and creepy stories (he had been violently ill and quarantined with a stomach virus) and we got to know his district and missionary friends a bit better. He still had no appetite and was unable to eat, so our drive-thru at Chick-Fil-A allowed the rest of us a quick dinner. The closer we got to home, the more anxious and emotional he got. We had tied yellow ribbons on the trees and basketball standard but it was so hard to hear him weeping as he entered the house.  After getting his stuff unloaded in his room, he talked more as he unpacked. Gradually, some more details of his painful experiences surfaced along with some humorous anecdotes. 
We went to the stake center and had a very tender and informative meeting with our loving Stake President and amazing Bishop. Nate shared some of his painful experiences as well as a very powerful testimony. Being released and taking off his tags was excruciating for him, and it tore at my heart as well. 
After returning home, his grandparents and cousin (who is more an older brother) came over and more tears were shed; more love and support expressed. 
Late that night, he shared so many experiences, so many spiritual insights, so many happy memories from his mission experience and it was clear that he had touched and blessed a lot of people in the MTC. On his flight home, using his broken Spanish, he gave away a Book of Mormon to a lady named Otilia. Wow.  To have such commitment to the Lord and his gospel while you are so fearful, stressed and hurting is an amazing example to me.  Using his fun, notebook illustrations, he taught me the plan of salvation in Spanish, and he told me about his experiences with prayer. We had a very late family scripture study where for the first time in recorded Brimhall history, no one griped or complained. When we asked the routine question, “what did you learn?” Nate’s answer was thoughtful and full of testimony.
Watching his sister hug him goodnight and tearfully reiterate her love for him and that is so proud of him made tears of gratitude start flowing again. 
I could never have imagined that what I had envisioned as one of the hardest days of my life would turn out to be such an abundant parental payday. God called Nate to walk this painful, alternate path, and the scars he came home with showed just how much he was willing to endure because of his love for Jesus Christ and his commitment to answer the call to serve. It was a poignant reminder of the Savior's scars as he atoned for not just our sins, but our anguish, pain and despair.  
Regardless of what the future holds, he has earned the words from the Savior: “well done thou good and faithful servant.”  A friend told me to do two things when he came home: love him unconditionally, and recognize the divinity in him. I was overwhelmed by how much love I felt and how much divinity I saw in my boy. I was had worked to prepare myself for how hard it would be, but I was utterly surprised by the joy.
I realize that we are just starting out on an undoubtably rough and long journey, but I needed to recognize God’s hand working such miracles in our son and our family and express gratitude for such a generous and unexpected payday from a loving Father in Heaven, and an infinitely understanding Savior.