Gracious Civility: The handwritten word

I am blessed to have the most thoughtful and gracious neighbor in the world.  She is known and loved by all who know her for many reasons, but key among them is her ability to craft a sincere handwritten note.  Receiving a note from her is a special occasion.  Once you've read one of her signature "apreciation notes" you feel a little lighter, a bit quicker to smile and your view towards others warms and softens.  What is her magic?  I'm not exactly sure, but here are some key traits I've picked out to try to emulate and teach my children:

• Be Specific.  Notes don't have to be limited to a thank you note for a physical gift.  Let the person know why you were thinking of them and specific things that you admire or appreciate in them.  Often a particular incident causes us to think of or appreciate someone.  Write just that - the specifics of what made you think of them recently.
• Be Sincere.  The sweetest note can turn chokingly syrupy if it isn't truly sincere.  Don't waste words on hollow compliments.  Better to include a short couple of sentences that you truly mean, than a page full of flowery nonsense.  My husband recently left a post-it love-note in my purse where he knew I'd find it as I went on a short trip to see family.  Small effort = Big Bonus Points!
• Share Yourself.  My gracious friend always includes in her notes how that person has inspired her to do certain things, or strive to improve (whereas - all of us are all chasing her example).  When someone inspires or touches you, share that change you felt in your note.  Nothing makes us want to continue to improve more than hearing that we are inspiring others.
• Be Prolific.  This is not to say that every thank you note should be a long essay.  Rather, don't be stingy with your notes.  Look for reasons to share a note with someone, then actually follow through and do it.  Most of us think appreciative thoughts about family, neighbors and friends all the time.  But how often do we actually write it down and send it?  So fill that mailbox and give your mail carrier something to do!  (My gracious neighbor often leaves thank you notes for her mail carrier as well!)

So even if it is a quick post-it note on the fridge or a letter to a friend you've not seen in years, take 15 minutes to hand write a message.  There is something so personal and gracious about a handwritten note that can't be replicated in a million texts.  (And yes, I catch the irony of using a virtual,  blog-format for extolling the virtues of handwritten notes . . . better pull out the stationary.)