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Wednesday, January 23, 2019

I Will: My Happiness Manifesto

Life is hard.  Life can be unhappy.  Life is full of grief and fear and disappointment - often in unpredictable succession. But this is not a post about depression or heartbreak. This is a post about choosing how I will choose to live amid depressing, anxious, or other unstable circumstances.  

As I have been trying to regain my footing after facing some distressing mental/emotional diagnoses in my family, I’ve come to understand the power of one small phrase.  It is essentially all the power I have condensed into 2 words: I will.  I will choose to live happy regardless even if those around me are struggling or suffering or failing to meet my or other’s expectations. That sounds all fine and dandy, but a bit too generic and hypothetical.  So, I’ve whittled it down to some very specific statements I plan on hanging on to for dear life. They are not profound. They are not earth-shattering.  But they are mine - my fight song - my manifesto.  If all I truly possess is my will, then I’d better be serious about I will.  So in no particular order, here goes:
·      I will read interesting books and entertaining books and occasionally very boring books.
·      I will eat fresh peaches in August. 
·      I will plant tomatoes. 
·      I will grow flowers. 
·      I will pull weeds. 
·      I will praise God in private and out loud.
·      I will wear yellow and pink.
·      I will thank. 
·      I will smell flowers. 
·      I will take walks and ride my bike.
·      I will do yoga and I will still do the circuit workouts even if they don’t feel happy and probably only give me the illusion of strength. 
·      I will eat. 
·      I will cook. 
·      I will occasionally host parties with food that makes my mouth water. 
·      I will tell my family I love them.
·      I will brush and floss.
·      I will hug and kiss my family (who will appreciate the bursting and flossing no doubt! ðŸ˜‰).
·      I will write them notes.
·      I will bite my tongue when the need to criticize or correct comes up and I will apologize when I don’t.
·      I will go to book club. 
·      I will go to girls’ nights out.
·      I will watch movies.
·      I will cry.
·      I will make myself smile. 
·      I will listen to music and occasionally burst into dance. 
·      I will play the piano. 
·      I will occasionally play the flute. 
·      I will occasionally travel. 
·      I will quilt. 
·      I will build and plant and grow.
·      I will eat chocolate. 
·      I will attend church. 
·      I will attend the temple. 
·      I will enjoy sleep. 
·      I will express love and support to others. 
·      I will fit puzzles. 
·      I will visit.
·      I will be still. 
·      I will repent.
·      I will work.
·      I will drink in the beauty of sunsets and sunrises.
·      I will clean.
·      I will find reasons to laugh.
·      I will feed my spirit with scripture.
·      I will pray often for others but more often for myself because I need the most work and I’m the only whose will I can change. 
That is my plan for how I will live happy.  Some things may be more frequent flyers than other, but I will work on my will because my will is the only will I have any control over. I thought about making a list of all the things I will not do, but that list is way too difficult, deflating and unrealistic. So instead I will focus on the things that I can do and will do because my happiness is my business and it must - and ultimately can - only come from my will. I will!


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