Civility: Teaching Respect for the Elderly

I have been blessed with a wonderful husband that values family and has made living close to family a priority.  As a result, my children know and see all their grandparents on a regular basis.  So how is this a domestic skill you ask?  Just this - graciousness and civility are dying if not already lost traits in society.  Think about:

• the beauty of a sincere thank-you note 
• the pleasure at having someone offer to help clean-up after a meal 
• the quiet elegance of sitting and truly listening to someone
• the respect and love shown when someone seeks the advice of a parent or grandparent

In our noisy, self-centered, youth-worshiping society these gracious and noble traits are no longer widely cultivated.  I believe that exposing your children to interactions with individuals of varying ages is one of the most effective ways to cultivate respect and civility.  There is so much wisdom in the decades of experience within those aging grandparents, teachers or neighbors.  What a shame it is to let all that wisdom and history slip away without passing it on to subsequent generations.  So whether you live close to grandparents or not, you do live close to elderly members of your community.  Why not take advantage of the learning experience alongside your children and visit with some of them?
Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Contact a local assisted living center and ask about visiting with some of the residents.
• Grab your kids, a checker board or book and just sit down with an elderly neighbor or family member.
• Ask specific quesitons about what life was like when they grew up (what was their first car, what was the first president they remember, what they remember about historical events such as the Kennedy assassination, wars, the first moon landing etc.).
• If memory problems are present, talk about the game you brought or the book you brought.
• Pictures are often effective at evoking memories and conversation. 
• As a parent, be the example for your children.  They will watch how you take care of your parents and grandparents and most likely emulate your example in a few decades.  So if you want to be a loved and respected aging member of your family, it starts now with how you treat your aging family members.

Not only does this give some interesting perspective into history, but it also teaches your children social skills.  You may initially feel as though you are doing it as a favor to the elderly individual, but soon you'll realize that you are the true beneficiary.   In previous generations, respect, honor and good manners were the norm - let's not let that tradition pass when they do.  Set a time for your family to visit with the elderly.